It had nothing to do with IIS. It had everything to do with php.ini. I turned on all errors and display errors (I didn't realize this was off by default in new installations) and lo and behold
`Warning: Unknown: POST Content-Length of 69 bytes exceeds the limit of -2140143616 bytes in Unknown on line 0`
changing
`post_max_size = 2055M`
to
`post_max_size = 1024M`
fixed the problem. I set the post size to be a huge amount so that uploadify would let me uploading large videos, but I will just make sure they are always under a gig.
Thank you for the ideas and clues about where NOT to go

And thank you for such great software!